


No such thing as a free pint

by LindaMaceMichalik



Series: Well met [6]
Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Star Trek
Genre: AU, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 10:44:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18009464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LindaMaceMichalik/pseuds/LindaMaceMichalik
Summary: Maybe it was for the best, the Bar might have thought; where would the materiel come from to supply pints of beer for the next travellers otherwise and wasn't it kinder this way, to spare the heartache of those who had no hope of reconciling to their lover?====Think Sweeney Todd and Pratchett's Sapient Pearwood ....





	No such thing as a free pint

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer - I neither own nor make any money from characters and settings of the Star Trek Franchise nor Andre Aciman's Call me by your name and Terry Pratchett's fearsome Sapient Pearwood.
> 
> Story written and posted on AllPoetry https://allpoetry.com/LindaMaceMichalik

[ ](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:STtng_Communicator.jpg)

'Miss Otis regrets...' the Public Bar might have sung to itself as the last two fingers sank into one of its pub-bench's sapient pearwood depth; long, pale fingers in perfect proportion to the rest of the tall, blonde human that had already disappeared into whatever passed for its not-quite-a-digestive tract. But after all, the Bar might have said, were it capable of thought, there is no such thing as a free pint and at least it did let some of its visitors leave, unlike it's not-quite-a-cousin, The Hotel California,,,,  
=====

A little Earlier ...

Ortwin fiddled with the wall mounted keypad, typing swiftly while Enrico eased from one slender foot to the other.

"There!" He spoke into the pad -  
"British Pubic Bar, mid-20th century... nothing fancy, only a few.... no scratch that," the last thing he needed was a homophobic audience upholding an awful law that had uniquely denied compassion for lovers for a scant few centuries  
" no other customers, mid-afternoon."

The holo-deck doors slid open with a slight hiss, as if the air on the USS Star Ship Phaedreus and the air in the run down Bar had to equalise pressure before the friends could be allowed to cross over. Both ensigns tugged down on their red shirts, grinning at each other as they stepped in. The Bar could have told them the significance of their shirts' colours, if they'd cared to listen.

Enrico turned back as the doors slid shut to see them replaced by a dark wood, varnished double door, top half glazed with coloured glass depicting twined leaves and flowers. Soft sunlight shone in but the glass was too thick to see the street outside, if the 'deck had included an outside. Twin brass door handles were coated with a dark patina, relieved only where countless hands had etched it back to the coppery brass.  
"Cool" he grinned turning to look up at his companion "Like this is so..."

"Dingy and grimy?" Supplied the blue-eyed giant, smiling down at his svelte, twitchy, dark-haired Friend. The place was a fair facsimile from video footage of a vintage London East End Public House bar - flocked paisley wall paper, hewn, cracked dark wood tables and chairs, benches backed with worn tapestry cushions, studded with shiny brass buttons, a long, empty bar with optiks and a mirror at the back.

"I was going to say... Real... but, well yeah, maybe at bit... faded." Enrico's glinting eyes belied his last comment. Ortwin had clearly delighted E with the venue and that made him smile too.

"Right." he said quickly to cover the ridiculous euphoria that threatened to show through his eyes, " I seem to have made this too exclusive - no barkeep. Wait... look, two pints at that table. You happy to sample the local brew?"

Enrico rolled his eyes and did a slide across the stained, threadbare carpet. He had two modes - on and off; something that got him into trouble in the service when he needed to stand to attention.  
He knew how much Ort helped to keep him grounded when they were both on duty together. It was a lucky accident that they'd met up right at the start, enlisted into Star Fleet from their different home planets at the same time, gone through training together, been assigned to The Phaedrus as their postings, together.  
"We do have alcohol back on Capella. It's not like I don't drink!" he replied, eyes still rolling, smiling fondly up the height of his titanic ship mate.

"Never said you didn't. Just the wine your family serves is a whole different thing to beer whereas back on Nieblung we practically set up a brewery as soon as we made planetfall!"

"And we planted our vines just as soon as we settled Capella! Doesn't mean I have to stick to my planet's beverage. I joined Star Fleet to go explore the galaxy! C'mon - let's go sit." He smirked; they both knew what Ort thought about his ability to sit still for any length of time.

E had been almost physically homesick when he'd first arrived at Star Fleet Academy on old Earth. It had been a deep honour to make it onto the fleet cadet programme, but then to win a berth at the most prestigious fleet training site had been almost more than he could bear. His parents had been so proud of him, proud for him too, because they never pushed what they wanted onto him, just were always there for him. Which, of course, was a two sided gift because when he got there, they were on the other side of the galaxy. And that was when his bunk mate, newly in from his equally distant home planet had stepped in to fill the gap. They'd been inseparable from day one. They'd rapidly been labelled the 'terrible twins', doubly ironic given how opposite in attitude and appearance they were in every respect - Ortwin basically a statuesque Norse god type, or maybe a Greek Adonis; Enrico a Persian cat, minus tail and triangular ears, a Mr Mistoffelees from TS Eliott's Old Possum's book of Cats. Given all they'd worked their way through together, they were bound to care for each other, a lot.

"So," said Ortwin taking a deep draft from his glass of beer "I guess you might wonder why I wanted us to get away for a bit." He looked across at Enrico a tad nervously.

Enrico swung back across his low stool to face Ortwin.  
"No. I guessed we're off shift and you wanted to go explore."

Ortwin felt the ball returned to his court. He stretched up and pushed part of his long back into the cushion of the bench he'd chosen to sit on. He stopped short, glaring at his glass, happy to be distracted.  
"Hmm, I just drunk out of this and now it's full again!"

Enrico took a tentative sip from his glass, aware that it was neither wine nor grappa. The liquid rose back up to the glass' pint mark.  
"I guess the 'deck didn't supply a barkeeper so it's taken over the drinks?" It didn't bother him; Ortwin's nervousness, though, did.

"You're probably right, beer's not bad either... " He stilled his nerves and tried again.  
"I just wanted a bit of privacy, for us." Why was this so difficult -gay/bi/whatever couples were all over the ship - married or dating, ship's policy compliant, no big deal?  
"It's errm..."

Enrico tilted his head and looked across at the big fella. He was obviously hurting, Enrico slid his hand over his friends as it lay on the table. He continued looking up into Ort's eyes, giving him his chance to speak. When he didn't E prompted him.  
"It's...?"

Exasperated with himself, having found a place, but still not the words, all Ortwin could say was - "Do you ever think about us?"

Enrico's smile faded. He gently lifted off his hand. They sat for a while.  Ortwin, in his turn, waited for Enrico to speak.

"What exactly do you mean by us?" he said looking down into his lap.

Sometimes, many times in fact, especially at the academy, when Enrico had been sniffling into his pillow, homesick for his family and their soft garden life, Ortwin had slid his ridiculous bulk into Enrico's bunk and wrapped around him like an oversized, heated blanket; simply held him till they both fell asleep. It's not like anyone minded. Enrico had had no spare fat on him and had come from a temperate planet unlike Ortwin. Enrico felt the cold, he was sensitive, he felt everything.

Ortwin tilted his friend's face up so they were once more looking into each other's eyes.  
"Us as in 'more than'.... " he reached for the right words,  
"more than just... terrible twins..." was all he could come up with "more than... " he finished lamely.

"Ohhh" mewled Enrico softly.

Ortwin's hopeful look sank without a trace.  
"I didn't realise... didn't know, didn't know that you don't like men.... you never said. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have...."  
It was not like Ortwin to gabble.

Enrico reached out a finger and touched Ortwin's lips to still his words.  
"No! I'm not like that! " E seemed a little shocked.  
"Surely very few people in the galaxy are... like that, these days? "No, back home I've had girl and boyfriends, the usual. It's not that "

Strangely for such a large man, Ortwin looked tiny, defeated.  
"So... it's me you don't like...?" he asked quietly.

Enrico laughed; not a comfortable laugh.  
"Have you ever seen me date anyone...in all the time we've known each other?"

Ortwin hadn't, but then neither had he dated. Secretly he'd hoped they shared the same reason for not dating anyone - else.

Enrico sighed and slipped his hand under that of his friend's; he'd known that this would have to come up one day. Just hoped for a little more time before ....  
"If it's any comfort Blue, I do love you. Anyway you want to take it - I do love you."

Something in E's voice left no room for hope but Ortwin had to say it - "I love you E" he whispered.

Dust in the air... hovered; light across the Bar mirror... shimmered; a runkle in the Bar carpet squirmed. Neither man noticed, sat as they were, foreheads touching, beer glasses set aside as they held each other's hands.

Ortwin looked up to Enrico who smiled softly at him. Ort mirrored his smile.  
"So?" he nudged.

"It's not about gender, Ort, it's just, you're not my species!"

"What does that matter? If we don't want, can't have children, why does it matter?" Ortwin's blue eyes lit up with hope.

"No" Enrico said firmly. "  
He sighed.  
"I can set up a vid call with my parents for you. I can send you links for databases; we can go talk to the ship's counsellor; hell we can talk to a medic, a vet, a biologist. But no, it can't ever work! I promise you, since the day we met I've been trying to find a way!"

As if to emphasise his point, E shook his head slowly at Ort.  
Ort clung on to his hands and they sank their foreheads back onto each other's.

The carpet wriggled a little more; the bench quivered.

The companions who could not be a couple remained oblivious, caught up in the warmth of their skin on skin contact.

"Why didn't you say?"  
"What - that I loved you or that we could never be lovers, husbands, never be romantically involved? Why do you think?"

If it had been anyone else, if they hadn't trained and served together, if he hadn't been so much a part of his soul, Ortwin would have argued with Enrico. He didn't understand, maybe he'd try and find out. They could be friends, they were platoon mates, they would rise up the ranks together, support each other, request postings together, but if Enrico hadn't found a way for them to be lovers, then Ortwin didn't doubt, they could never be lovers.

"Come over here" he said, in command again, as he registered Enrico was crying quietly across from him, tears dripping onto their joined hands.  
"If we can't be lovers, at least I can be your friend"

Enrico jostled off his stool and bounced into the arms of his personal giant. Ortwin caught him into a bear hug and sank back into the bench's cushion.

"I am so sorry" E sobbed. Ort's tears fell onto E's dark curls as they snuggled into each other, the sunlight warming their tear stained faces.

A tiny slit in the back rest's fabric opened a little more, a few of the brass studs slid apart - the semblance of a small mouth evolving. The Bar started to hum a Cole Porter song sadly. The two friends, sunk into each other's embraces, absorbed by their enveloping sadness were separated from the outside world. Slowly, first Ort's then E's shoulders subsided softly into the gaping maw that had been the backrest cushion, Enrico's gulping breath overlapped by a gentle slurping sound ...

\----

 

The Bar was empty. The beer glasses re-absorbed. An almost church-like calm reigned as the coloured light lit up clouds of dust. Two communicator badges lay under the table until a small runkle snaked along the carpet, lifted them up and away.

Maybe it was for the best, the Bar might have thought; where would the materiel come from to supply pints of beer for the next travellers otherwise and wasn't it kinder this way, to spare the heartache of those who had no hope of reconciling to their lover?

========


End file.
